It’s Windy in Here!

Is it just me or has the art of race announcing reached a level so far in the depths of ineptitude that it will never return? Don’t get me wrong there are some very good ones around, James Essex, Ozzie Altman, Chris Stepan, Rick Eshelman, Dustin Jarrett and Bret Emrick just to name a few. These guys take pride in their jobs, do their homework, do their pre-race at the track work, and deliver information that is knowledgeable, informative, interesting and pertinent. Yes, hearing these gentlemen at the top of their craft has skewed my vision of what all track announcers should be, however, more and more of the so-called track announcers need to listen to the ones mentioned above and take some notes. It’s time for them to step-up and make some drastic improvement.

First thing first, before you get to the track do your homework; especially if you have a new class coming in you are unfamiliar with. Just don’t show-up at the track and expect everyone else to spoon feed you information. Get off your lazy ass, get to the track early and spend a couple of quality hours in the pit area. Verify that information, make sure it’s correct, and talk to drivers & crews to the right information. Do you believe everything you read on the internet? Gather the correct names (and how to say them, what, is your regular job a butcher?) hometowns, sponsors, car numbers, chassis types – you know all the stuff that’s interesting to fans. Nothing is more hilarious then when during on-track intros you get introduced as the “#48 car” because they haven’t got a clue who the driver is!

Under what circumstances is it acceptable for a track announcer to not know who is driving which car and what that car actually looks like? I’m starting to think they have a literacy issue at some places! Don’t tell me that a particular driver is winning the race when I’m standing next to him while he is supposedly driving. Don’t tell me that a particular driver is racing when he hasn’t for the past two-years. You know what else happens when you go through the pit gathering information; you know what cars look like and what numbers are on them. Holy crap what a revelation I’ve just brought to the racing community!

You will probably also get some good unsolicited information you can share that makes you look like a genius. Time and time again all you hear from these guys is so and so didn’t give me the information, which makes you look lazy and sound incredibly bad! They shouldn’t have to give you a damn thing, do your job and go get it!

Needless to say, a driver shouldn’t have to stand on the racetrack at intermission with a wireless microphone and tell the announcer he’s the driver of a particular car, to which the response over the PA was (by someone not the announcer) “if you give that information to the pit board then we would know.” REALLY, you just said that? But it gets even better! Then when said driver tell them (again which shouldn’t be unnecessary) that there is a sub driver in a car, person who’s not announcer said “AGAIN, if you give that information to the pit board then we would know.” This could be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard at a race track, and that is a long and distinguished list. I can’t believe fans, and promoters for that matter, put up with this disaster on a regular basis! Thank God racecars are loud and most track PA’s suck so you can’t hear them half the time.

Second thing; know what the name of the division is called. For the elevendee-billionth time, they are NOT late model stock cars! Call them dirt late models, super late models, or just late models, but for please stop with the late model stock cars. The world doesn’t revolve around open wheel racing, and just because it has fenders doesn’t make it a stock car. In no way is it a stock class. Would you like it if I called a midget a sprint car (or vise versa) every week for 20-years? I didn’t think so. Not only know the name of the division, if it has a sponsor that might be good to know as well, and who the sanctioning group is would be a nice added bonus.

Third, give me some good driver information. Let me know who the point’s leaders are, how many wins a driver has, maybe some results from past races I may have missed. Tell me where and when the next race is even if it’s not at your track. Maybe some fans like that division of cars and want to get out and explore them at some place new. Maybe there are fans visiting your track because of that particular division and would like to see them again closer to their homes.

I know what you’re thinking right now, what does this slappy know? He’s just sitting behind a keyboard running his mouth while his fingers do the walking. Well, I’ve got news for you, I’m Breezy Scoop BITCH! I got a fan club! I’ve done (and heard) enough track announcing to know when it great and when it’s a disaster of epic proportions. Let’s just say it’s the latter WAY more then the former.